Monday, May 12, 2014

....i pray for myself !!


.......i switched off the lights and lay down beside my little one to tuck him to sleep. we did our little prayer together. he gave me his daily ritual hug and we started our little talks.

he: i love u mumma 
me: i love you too..
he: i love u infinity mumma 
me: aw..i love you too my baby
he: oh mum-mah, i am not a baby, i m big boy 
me: oh my u ll always remain a baby for me
he: even when i m 5 years old
me: yes
he: even when i m 10 years old
me: yeah
he: even when i m 20 years old
me: yeah
he: even when i m 30 years old
me: umm i may not be there then 
he: why
me: i may die by then
he: what does die mean
me: it means mumma ll become a star
he: u mean u won't be here
me: yeah, i won't be here, but i ll be, i ll be like a picture, you can still talk to my picture
he: okay..
..& n so n so n so....

he slept and i was sure he started weaving all those super dreams with super why & super man..
i as usual was too tired too stressed but not sleepy. i got up, went to the kitchen, made myself a cup of tea..
i sat in my patio, it was too cold, i could barely see a few stars and the little moon-light coming far from the end...i think i was lost in my troubled thoughts when i heard him..i went inside and realized he was crying in sleep, i took him in my lap and tried to wake him up so he can come out of that bad dream and feel better.
he woke up, hugged me tight and said

he: mumma, i don't want you to ever become a star, even when i turn million years old. i want you around me all the time

me: oh my baby, sure i promise u i ll always be with u, for-ever. 

once again, i hugged him tight, started running my fingers through his hair until he slept..

& i said my prayer to God, first one for myself

me: oh dear God, please bless me to live healthy till my son needs me..!!

& i don't know when i got asleep & peacefully this time..